Rodger Pettichord Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 Only certified Old Coots and our world-ranging experience can answer this one. My "Adopted" grandson is a second-generation Sri-Lankan-American. His folks came here in 1975. Justin tries to honor his Sri-Lankan heritage for his parents' sake while also honoring the American culture in which he grew up and into which he is now entering as a contributing adult. At lunch, we were noting the difference between Western Culture and its youth orientation and Southeast Asian culture and its emphasis on honoring parents and grandparents. He sincerely and uncritically asked if I thought there were any Forum members who felt heard and taken seriously as Elders and, if so, where did they live? Good question--what's our experience in the countries represented in the Forum? As for me here in the western United States, my experience is that the youth wave washes Elders away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olderndirt Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 My wife and kids still like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YAMBA1 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 5 hours ago, Rodger Pettichord said: As for me here in the western United States, my experience is that the youth wave washes Elders away. This problem of youngster not listening to their elders is a world wide problem. The assimilation of different cultures can prove to be the source of problems, not only with their elders but also with the law of the country of adoption During my professional career in the Northern Territory, I had the privilege to work with Australian Aboriginals . The integration and sometime clashes of two cultures was so obvious, that meeting deadlines was sometime impossible. I had the help of the Community Elders which made my tasks a lot easier. Those Elders have a very strong influence on their families and wider community and are highly regarded and respected by all . One day one of those Elder came to me complaining that the young ones have caught the white man's sickness. I asked this Elder what it meant and he said " You know the young ones do not want to listen to us anymore, this was unheard of 10 or 20 years ago " he said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassman Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Sounds like we all have short memories of our own rebellious natures Those growing up through the 60's and early 70's will remember that we were old by the age of 30. Anyone remember the film "Logans Run"? But seriously, I think in general (there are always exceptions to the rule) every generation goes through similar stages. My kids love and respect me (because they have seen the will !!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerribleT Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 I'm continually surprised here in Oz about how well my wife and I are treated by the current younger generation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Cooper Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Hello, I don't expect to be treated any differently because I am 50 odd years older than someone else. One should look past the outward appearance or vintage to the person inside, then one will see that there are the respectful and disrespectful at all times of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dadtom65 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 In my time I was taught to respect your elders and I’m sure our two sons, wish we had a daughter, think the same. A lot of the foreign countries look after their elders for life it seems, but here it’s not the same. You hope you and yours keep your mind and can pass some thing onto your kids and not have to go into a care home and loose the lot in fees. Derek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 18 hours ago, YAMBA1 said: This problem of youngster not listening to their elders is a world wide problem. The assimilation of different cultures can prove to be the source of problems, not only with their elders but also with the law of the country of adoption During my professional career in the Northern Territory, I had the privilege to work with Australian Aboriginals . The integration and sometime clashes of two cultures was so obvious, that meeting deadlines was sometime impossible. I had the help of the Community Elders which made my tasks a lot easier. Those Elders have a very strong influence on their families and wider community and are highly regarded and respected by all . One day one of those Elder came to me complaining that the young ones have caught the white man's sickness. I asked this Elder what it meant and he said " You know the young ones do not want to listen to us anymore, this was unheard of 10 or 20 years ago " he said And therein lies a true tragedy. Thanks for sharing this, Yamba1. Makes my heart break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawrence aldrich Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 As Rodney Dangerfield once said...………"I don't get no respect !!" Everybody is just after my money anyhow......so I don't trust nobody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 8 minutes ago, lawrence aldrich said: As Rodney Dangerfield once said...………"I don't get no respect !!" Everybody is just after my money anyhow......so I don't trust nobody. Not entirely true, Lawrence. We here on the Forum also treasure you for your good looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olderndirt Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 38 minutes ago, Rodger Pettichord said: Not entirely true, Lawrence. We here on the Forum also treasure you for your good looks. The spitting image of the crazy general in "Dr Strangelove". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawrence aldrich Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 General Jack D. Ripper was a true patriot. An American icon...…...When in doubt, bomb everybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Kane Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 8 hours ago, lawrence aldrich said: As Rodney Dangerfield once said...………"I don't get no respect !!" You can quote him anytime, He's one of the best When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 While trying to guide them properly my wife and I have always endeavoured to show our children respect and courtesy and in return I know we've had and still got theirs. Mind you, its been a challenge at times, especially when our son was younger and rebellious. The girl has never been a problem and they are both now a joy to know. They've both reached middle age now and I do wish they'd get proper jobs and get married though!!! John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Kane Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 OK I will make an attempt on this topic....Where are Elders still respected? This story goes back almost 10 years ago now, it was my last few months living in Toronto before moving to New Zealand, I had already left my job and decided to help out a friend of mine in his shop for a few months before I moved, it was a great time doing casual work like that. The area of the shop has a very large Persian population and they like to spend money, so we had a lot of customers. I noticed how friendly they were, and their kids were extremely nice and respectful as well. One family I got to know was a businessman from Afghanistan who was the kind of guy that built his wealth from nothing, very self-made man. He had his wife and 8 daughters. When I met him I though wow this guy has a lot on his plate. His daughters would come into the shop and they were great kids, highly educated, hardworking, very modern and fashionable as well as respectful. A lot of happiness in that family. One thing I noticed over time was anytime one of them came in the bill was usually around $350 and off they go. I started to do the math in my head. $350 each times 8 of them, and also his wife. this stuff adds up. I figured he was spending well over $100,000 a year taking care of those girls basic needs in that house, probably more, not including education or any cars he buys them. So, one day he was in with 2 of his daughters, they got what they wanted so he was there to pick them up and pay the bill. That was when I made the joke I said, "You know what I would do if I was you?" he said what. I said, "I would go home and call a family meeting and say, that's it kids, put the burka's back on, I am not doing this anymore." He laughed and then said to me, "that is now how it works. In life you take care of your kids, that way when you get old they take care of you." and off they went. That got me to thinking, when you go to these countries in Asia, the middle east and around the Mediterranean one thing you won’t find are retirement homes, they don't have them. Retirement homes are the result of western culture. Those countries don't need them, and he said it best, take care of your kids and when you get old they will take care of you. Best advice I've ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 'take care of your kids and when you get old they will take care of you.' I'm not sure that's true in England any more. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Cooper Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Hello John, it might no longer be the culture but there is nevertheless plenty of it going on. News of such devoted people rarely emerges between the apparently much more interesting bad news stories of when no one really cares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 Depends on where you live to a large extent I suppose. In my opinion, the greater majority of people in the North have always been more family oriented than those in the South. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc_Z Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 It's like that old commercial: You earn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Oh boy I don't think I'll make it. When my kids were teenagers I hung a note on the fridge they constantly opened: Teenagers leave home while you still know "everything". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Oh my goodness. That's priceless and I wish I had thought of it while my two were growing up. Come to think of it, they did really. My daughter to university and from then on she never lived at home and my son to London to try his luck as a photographer. She's very successful, he's still very trying! John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsy Pilot Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 So far the only place that I have found respect for age was at a gathering of old folks. This Complaint Is Not New. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/63219-the-children-now-love-luxury-they-have-bad-manners-contempt Dale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted October 12, 2018 Author Share Posted October 12, 2018 2 hours ago, Gypsy Pilot said: So far the only place that I have found respect for age was at a gathering of old folks. This Complaint Is Not New. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/63219-the-children-now-love-luxury-they-have-bad-manners-contempt Dale Dale, I guess you must mean some gathering of Old Folks other than us Forum Old Coots. Nothing but smart-ass around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Abernathy Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I grew up in the 60's and had great respect for my parents, grandparents, neighbors, but then again I was taught to be that way. It's probably against my better nature to be nice to everyone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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