KELSEY Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 Know why God invented women? Couldn't teach sheep to cook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W2DR Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 My wife and I have been married over 50 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adambar Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 On 6/11/2020 at 12:49 PM, W2DR said: My wife and I have been married over 50 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead. My wife and I both roll over and play dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robpol471 Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 The deaf husband.A wife goes to an otolaryngus doctor and asks to help her because her husband is becoming more deaf but does not want to bring it to him because he is afraid of sorrow.The otolaryngus tells him that he cannot make a diagnosis if he does not bring her husband but she says to him: "Madam, let's make an attempt to see the severity of deafness of her husband. Now you go home and as soon as you enter ask her a question and ask her repeat advancing towards him and then let me know how far her husband answers her. "The wife goes home and on entering sees her husband sitting on the sofa and asks him : "Dear, what have you done? "... no answer from her husband, she goes two meters and repeat the question ... no answer, go 2 more meters ... no answer, she advances another two meters and is very close to her husband and repeats the question but this time the husband finally replies:"Dear, since you entered I have ... replied you four times!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robpol471 Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 At the cemetery...In front of a grave a man sobs and despairs screaming: " You shouldn't have died, you shouldn't have died, because you are dead?…" A passerby is moved and tries to console him by saying: "I understand his great pain because I too have lost a person very dear to me but strong and patient because his only with the passage of time despair will calm down. "The man, however, at these words begins to sob even more saying: " No! For me every day that passes will only increase my despair over the loss of this man because he was the ... first husband of my wife! ". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted June 25, 2020 Author Share Posted June 25, 2020 My wife: "I am not talking to you". Me: "OK". My wife: "Don't you want to know the reason?" Me: " No, I respect and trust your decision". Oh boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adambar Posted June 28, 2020 Share Posted June 28, 2020 Nurse: "We need a stool and a urine sample." Man to wife: "What did she say?" Wife to husband: "They want your underwear." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted June 28, 2020 Author Share Posted June 28, 2020 48 minutes ago, adambar said: Nurse: "We need a stool and a urine sample." Man to wife: "What did she say?" Wife to husband: "They want your underwear." Aw me gawd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted June 30, 2020 Author Share Posted June 30, 2020 So a while ago I was happily simming along in the Orbx world when I overheard my wife's friend Gilda telling her: "Your job as a woman is to observe when your man is happy and immediately put a stop to that nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adambar Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 That's the reason I just shuffle along with a frown on my face and my head down until I get out of sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted September 10, 2020 Author Share Posted September 10, 2020 Buddy asked me today: If you had to chose between a wonderful wife and a real nice car: What would you pick? Gas or Diesel? Ouch, ouch sorry gotta go she's pulling my hair, ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olderndirt Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 23 minutes ago, flyingleaf said: Buddy asked me today: If you had to chose between a wonderful wife and a real nice car: What would you pick? Gas or Diesel? Ouc, ouch sorry gotta go she's pulling my hair, ouch Trying to remember the old comic who played the violin and said "take my wife - please". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted September 10, 2020 Author Share Posted September 10, 2020 19 minutes ago, olderndirt said: Trying to remember the old comic who played the violin and said "take my wife - please". Sorry ond. Can't say she's watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adambar Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 20 minutes ago, flyingleaf said: Sorry ond. Can't say she's watching. 20 minutes ago, flyingleaf said: Sorry ond. Can't say she's watching. There always watching. that's why I always have an excuse to go somewhere and turn the dang cellphone off as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W2DR Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 8 hours ago, olderndirt said: Trying to remember the old comic who played the violin and said "take my wife - please". Henny Youngman..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Abernathy Posted September 12, 2020 Share Posted September 12, 2020 Playing golf with a few good friends I couldn't help but notice that Paul doffed his cap and placed it over his heart as a funeral procession moved down the street. I told him how thoughtful that was, but he replied "it's the least I can do for my wife". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted September 12, 2020 Author Share Posted September 12, 2020 Trying to explain the mathematics of beers to my wife. Mebby yours can grasp math easier than my wife. Cheers guys stay safe. Love from the Mule Team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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