The perks of growing older...

[W2DR]

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are a more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

[Rodger Pettichord]

And you finally understand Old Guy humor!

[VH-KDK]

You can eat what you want, when you want and however much you want.

More women look attractive.

Kidnappers will pay your family to give you back.

 

[gumbypickett]

And you no longer have to buy deodorant because

you have your own natural stench.

cheers

Gumby

[John York]

For the fortunate, the biggest perk must be no longer needing to go to work for a living.

[Rob Abernathy]

18 hours ago, John York said:

For the fortunate, the biggest perk must be no longer needing to go to work for a living.

 

That's for sure!  If I had know retirement was so much fun I'd of done it first.  

 

Just to add: I don't forget things, it's just that my head is full and I have to delete something in order to retain something else.

[lifejogger]

Your wife thinks you are hard of hearing but your not.