CBris Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Old One-Eye was in a foul mood. He'd arrived late the night before after dropping his latest fare off at Eugene, but of course bigger airports, being rather pricey, he taxied down the highway and parked up for the night at Creswell. Quite a few cars had passed him on the way, their drivers shouting epithets such as "Roadhog!" and worse as he used the left side of the motorway. What's that? Motorway? Of course! Old One-Eye is expatriate, and if them dang-fool merry cans don't know that driving on the right is Napoleon's fault, who was he to blame if those cars went into the ditches and hedgerows. His response? "Hedgehogs!" out of his side window! So there he was, just awake after a night under Dirty Gertie's wing, when this suit hanger wanders up and introduces himself as Mister Jones, the airport manager... "....yap yap yap.... filthy....disgrace... grounded... leaking... getthatbloodyheapoffofmyairfieldandnevereverdarecomebackagain!!!!!!!!!!!!" or words of that kind. One-Eye took another pull of breakfast from his hippie as the manager man ranted on..."Begparm mister? Leak? Gertie don't leak - she just marks her territory. But there was no pleasing the MiB clone with the red face. "Yeah, yeah, yeah - eight hours bottle to throttle... whaddya mean? I've only had it open seven hours already, got another hour left before I need a new one! This particular brew of uncle Elmer's #5 was only finished a few days ago."But then the tomato in the black suit mentioned something about revenue, so One-Eye conceded defeat and wound up the elastic bands in Gertie's knickers..."Now then, pre-flight checks... yup, she's rolling, engine's burbling... sounds good to me... Cabin all secure... YIKES!!!'' "Control lock is still in... Buggrit, buggrem, millenium hand and shrimp! I thought she was rather stiff this mornin... put it down to me arthritics... er... red? Wassat red stuff? Anyone in here with me?..." One-Eye looks around... "Hmmm Gertie's cleaner than usual... oh!""What the blazing ferkin happend in here yesterday? Better get away quick before that manager man does call the revnoo...!"Nothing for it, One-Eye firewalls the loud lever and skids onto the runway, lowering flaps and setting max noise...It didn't matter that he could hear a rather unexpected engine nois pass over his head - he could hear the driver's language as he started his take off roll... "This airport's too busy fer my likins..." and since Emma had been shut down by the high lord Bilga Tess some years previously, he firewalled the lot, buzzed the makeshift tower a couple of times and flew off into the sunrise and to a little know airfield way north in the Misty Moorings... Yes, Old One-Eye was definitely one old, bold and extremely cranky aviator this morning. It wasn't until he refuelled in Bear Gulch, that he remembered his "other" passenger had been an unexpected raccoon and his Magnum was one bullet lighter. His "Fare" had almost made Gertie a lot more dirty (a smelly lot more dirty!), One-Eye recalled... there had been a lot of screaming about 'Goddam limey idiots' from the back, after he shot the raccoon that was trying to eat its way out of Gertie. Still, he'd dropped his fare off reasonably unharmed apart from a few 'coon scratches and a new skin for a new hat...Now he'd have to think about giving Gertie a wash... but that is a whole, nuther story..._________________________________________________ Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Emms Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Thank I did enjoy the read. cheers Iain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBris Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 There's a long story behind Old One-Eye. He came to life with Emma Field and has evolved into a real oddball "Old and Bold" pilot who breaks all the rules but one - "Blue side up". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penzoil3 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Love it ! I bet his other car is a Harley ! The paint job goes well too. ROFLMAO ! Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBris Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Well, his motorbike is a Hardly Davison - currently it is, rather appropriately, a "Bandit", but he's really interested in something not quite so bulky. An Indian maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Abernathy Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Good to see yer tires haven't gone flat Chris! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ridinroun Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Good story. Liked that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lthendrix Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Brilliant!! and I love that plane reminds me of my truck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl014914 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 This is nicely expressed. ! Also visit my blog - Mothercare voucher 2014 (http://www.ministryofdeals.com/) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBris Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 Good to see yer tires haven't gone flat Chris! Well, ya know Old One-Eye - "They're only flat at the bottom." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Chris, sometimes I think that we seniors have way too much time on our hands. Loved your story and the illustrations. When is Chapter Two coming out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Hamilton Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Looks like more than one person has died inside that airplane... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripcord Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Looks like more than one person has died inside that airplane... At least recently, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBris Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Looks like more than one person has died inside that airplane... Shhh! Just remember that One-Eye don't like the rev'noo and excise people - especially considering his vested interest in Uncle Elmer's famous "Number 5" brew... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmorvay1971 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 As long as you removed the smell, I'd take a ride in it. -Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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