W2DR Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 Today’s Stock Market Report:: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. Batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market 7
Rodger Pettichord Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 Doug, best collection of Dad jokes yet! Thanks! 2 1
Stillwater Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 I love that fuzzy talk. We here that every day in TV. 3
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