Ah, well getting old and driving.

[flyingleaf]

Got pulled over by the Poleese. Trooper asked: "Why are you driving so fast?". Old guy replies:" I have to drive fast otherwise I forget where I'm going".Beers. Cheers k.

[Rodger Pettichord]

An elderly man driving erratically is pulled over by a patrolman at 2:00 a.m. After checking license and registration, the patrolman asks, "Where are you going at this time of night, Sir?"

        "I'm going to a lecture about alcohol, smoking, foolish old people, and aging gracefully," answers the man.

        "And who is giving such a lecture at this time of night?" asks the patrolman.

        "My wife," sighs the man.

 

[adambar]

A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper around his head.

Wife: 'What are you doing dear?'

Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 female's

Wife: 'how on earth do you know what gender they are?'

Husband: '3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone.' 

 

[adambar]

Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Old man: I thought that was your job. 

[W2DR]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rearview mirror , he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 170, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before for why you were speeding. I'll let U go."

The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!

The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir"