wblackret Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Went to a restaurant with the wife over the weekend. The waiter asked me what I would like. I ordered the braised rump roast. The waiter responded, “ Sr, aren’t you worried about the mad cow (disease)?” I responded, “ No, she can have whatever she wants!” and then......... This afternoon I walked into the bedroom, my wife was standing looking into the mirror and sobbing. I asked her what was wrong. She replied, “I’m getting older and heavier, my hair is turning grayer, my wrinkles are getting worse too, please pay me some kind of compliment so I can feel better about this uncontrollable aging!” My response, “ Yes, but your eye sight is damn near perfect!” Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed in the morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Hey wblackret. How much will you pay me not to forward these jokes to your wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wblackret Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 Actually, she was reading several jokes like this on Facebook, laughing like crazy. So I wanted to pass them on for others to enjoy. Feel free to pass them on to my ex-wife though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olderndirt Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Speaking of jokes - this made me chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingleaf Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Yeah well I got into a spot myself. She bought a pair of pants and asked me if the pants made her behind bigger I said it ain't the pants. I'm getting much better now and can almost see outta both eyes again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 7 hours ago, wblackret said: Actually, she was reading several jokes like this on Facebook, laughing like crazy. So I wanted to pass them on for others to enjoy. Feel free to pass them on to my ex-wife though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wblackret Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 Yes flying leaf, we live and learn! Hope your vision comes back 20/20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Kane Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 @wblackret you remind me of Rodney Dangerfield My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met But don't let his jokes fool you. He was very lucky to be married to Joan Dangerfield. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wblackret Posted November 14, 2018 Author Share Posted November 14, 2018 Thanks Matthew Kane. Yes he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted November 14, 2018 Share Posted November 14, 2018 OPTIMIST----The glass is half full. PESSIMIST---The glass is half empty. WIFE-------------Why didn't you use a coaster like I asked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wblackret Posted November 15, 2018 Author Share Posted November 15, 2018 Oh yeah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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