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Taking credit for the unavoidable


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Most people who know me say that I am a nice old man. What they don't know is that the vulnerabilities of age are my hidden secret. My hearing is down about 50%, so I miss about 50% of what is said, and therefore just smile and nod agreeably in most conversations. My eyesight is blurred by macular degeneration, glaucoma, and eye-medications, so I don't see most of the gaffs, flaws, and mistakes those around me make, and therefore just keep a kind, forgiving look on my face in most situations. Because I am basically clueless most of the time, people perceive me to be peaceful, sympathetic, and understanding. I love it. The way I figure, by the time I have lost all my senses, I will be seen as a saint.

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Before I retired from the police department, a few of the younger (newer) officers would often ask for advice relating to succeeding as a young officer (what do they need to watch out for and such). We had a policy within the department that each shift would pick up their relief. One morning, a young officer picked me up for the daylight shift and asked such a question. I told him the best advice I could give him was to make sure that I was wearing pants when I exited my home and headed for the car. I got the proverbial deer in the headlights look from the officer. I ended our conversation with, “you just never know.”

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  • 2 weeks later...

'so I don't see most of the gaffs, flaws, and mistakes'.   Blimey Rodger.  Now I know why you liked my books!

 

' leave the house occasionally without trousers '?.  

 

You lot must live in very tolerant societies.  We'd get arrested for that here Jeff no matter how old we are.   Anyway, its too bloody cold in Britain for those sort of larks.

 

 

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30 minutes ago, JohnY said:

'so I don't see most of the gaffs, flaws, and mistakes'.   Blimey Rodger.  Now I know why you liked my books!

 

' leave the house occasionally without trousers '?.  

 

You lot must live in very tolerant societies.  We'd get arrested for that here Jeff no matter how old we are.   Anyway, its too bloody cold in Britain for those sort of larks.

 

 

Get arrested, don't think so.

Did you not see the protest in Parliament yesterday ?

 

Kind regards

 

Ian S

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