W2DR Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 ME ON THE PHONE: Pizza Deliziosa? GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza. ME: I must have dialed the wrong number. Sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, you didn’t dial the wrong number. Google bought Pizza Deliziosa last month. ME: Okay, then I’d like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want the usual, sir? ME: The usual? Do you know who I am? GOOGLE: According to your datasheet, the last 12 times you ordered a pizza, you requested one with three kinds of cheese, sausage, peppers, mushrooms, and meatballs. ME: Yes, that’s what I want … GOOGLE: Can I suggest you order gluten-free whole wheat this time with ricotta, rocket salad, olives, and dried tomatoes? ME: What? No, I want the usual pizza! GOOGLE: Sir, your cholesterol is not good. ME: How the hell do you know that? GOOGLE: We have associated your phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years. ME: Okay, but I am taking my cholesterol drugs and I want the pizza I order usually! GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you haven’t taken your meds regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once 4 months ago from Drug RX Network. ME: I bought more in another pharmacy. GOOGLE: This does not appear on your credit card statement. ME: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But according to your bank statement, you haven’t withdrawn enough cash. ME: I have other sources of money. GOOGLE: This does not appear in your last tax return. Unless you have an undeclared source of income, which is against the law. ME: WHAT? GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir. I can reassure you that we use this information with the sole intention of helping you. ME: Enough! I can not handle it anymore! I hate Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the other damn social sites. I am going to an island without internet, without TV, where there is no mobile phone service and no one who can watch and spy on me! GOOGLE: I understand sir, but first you have to renew your passport. It expired 6 weeks ago … 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodger Pettichord Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 Doug, Google knows you used its name in vain. Watch your six! 1 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W2DR Posted April 23 Author Share Posted April 23 On 4/21/2024 at 12:47 PM, Rodger Pettichord said: Doug, Google knows you used its name in vain. Watch your six! Not a problem. Facebook and X have promised to protect me............. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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