maxter Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Australian Etiquette IN GENERAL 1. Never take an open stubby (small bottle of beer) to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take an Esky (cooler) to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral. DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine. 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME 1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners. PERSONAL HYGIENE 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys. 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money. 3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days. 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery. DATING 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook – especially on the first date. 2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back.. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.. 2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. WEDDINGS 1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place) 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummer- bund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight 2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too. Feel free to add to the above Cheers, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmglads Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Brilliant!! Sending it to all of my Pommy mates - got one coming over in August - this will give him a good "heads up" - if you'll excuse the expression! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awright Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Wish I'd had this when I went over!! Alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Baumanis Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Just loved that. I think it crystalises Aussie humour. I am still a Pommie B*****rd, managed to pass the test to become an Aussie, just waiting for the council to give me a date for taking the oath. Looking forward to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milamber Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 As a Pom who served alongside Aus/NZ personnel [a very long time ago] ISTR that: What's your favourite colour Blue ? Went down well, but there were so many others which, I'm sad to report, I just cannot remember. These days I suffer from short term memory loss and erm, umm, where were we? Thanks for the grin. Maurice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxter Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 I am still a Pommie B*****rd, managed to pass the test to become an Aussie, just waiting for the council to give me a date for taking the oath. Looking forward to that. Congrats mate, welcome aboard... Cheers, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Harris Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 hmm few locals around here could learn from this.... Australian Etiquette PARTYS 1.if you feel the need to get fisty-cuffs with each other ......do it in your own front garden please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.