Maurice_King Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie rushed to her grandparents house to offer comfort to her 95 year old grandma .She asked her grandma how her grandfather had died and her grandma replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified by this Katie suggested to her grandma having sex at nearly 100 years of age was asking for trouble. "Oh no my dear." replied her grandma. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out that the best time to make love was when the church bells would start to ring. Just the right rhythm, nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong". She paused to wipe away a tear and continued, "He'd still be alive if that bloody icecream van hadn't come along!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oilman Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Paddy and Mick flying Irish airlines (hey, I am half Irish so I guess I am not being racial stereotypical...) coming in to land at YMML. A very, very difficult approach they think, lots of confusion from ATC. They eventually get wheels down with a very hard stop. Mick turns to Paddy and says "begora, but that is one of the shortest runways I've ever used!!". To which Paddy replies, looking out left and right windows, "aye Mick, but can you see how wide it is!!!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyxx Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Warning English POV joke!! The world cup is turning out just like WW2. The French have gave up without a fight, the USA turned up late as always, leaving us to fight the F@";ing Germans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joemills Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Maurice, I am coming up to 80 yrs and I will have to remember about the ice cream van. Thanks for a bloody good laugh for me and my wife. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sangsom Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Warning English POV joke!! The world cup is turning out just like WW2. The French have gave up without a fight, the USA turned up late as always, leaving us to fight the F@";ing Germans. Hello Dave The F@";ing Germans will give you a well measured answer to your English POV joke on sunday at the soccer field. We will ring the icecream van-bell for your team. Can't wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TenBlade Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 The accused to the judge: I never laid a hand on my mother in-law, your honor, I swear, all I did was throw tomatos at her... Judge replies: Then how do you explain all the cuts and bruises?! You suggest tomatos did that?!! The accused looks down at his feet and replies quietly: They were tinned... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyxx Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Warning English POV joke!! The world cup is turning out just like WW2. The French have gave up without a fight, the USA turned up late as always, leaving us to fight the F@";ing Germans. Hello Dave The F@";ing Germans will give you a well measured answer to your English POV joke on sunday at the soccer field. We will ring the icecream van-bell for your team. Can't wait. Hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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